Self Conclusion
by Autumn Cullen
Summary: What did Edward feel like on the day of Rosalie's fateful phone call? Edward's point of view of Bella's 'Death' Read and Review :] Enjoy.
1. Misery's Rebellious Slave

_This is my oneshot on what I think Edwards Point of view was, when Rosalie called him and told him about Bella's "Death". Enjoy : Tell me if you like it :_

I was almost at my limit; I hadn't felt her warm skin in what had felt like an eternity. My hole for a heart ached, and I could barely hold myself together. I was useless, but she was having a better, less dangerous life now. I continue to tell myself.

'_You…don't…want me?' _Her broken voice echoed through my mind, causing me to wince, Oh how I wanted to go back and tell her the truth. I wanted tell her how far away from that truth she was. Of _course_ I wanted her! What a blasphemous idea?! Me not want _her_…Ha! I smiled a sick, unhealthy smirk as I looked out of my tinted windows, to see the city of Rio in my grasp. There was only one creature left on this earth trying to end all of my achievements, trying to make my long absence meaningless.

"Victoria." I spit the name. If I had to leave Bella, if I had to leave _her_, the meaning of my life, for her safety no damn red head was going to hurt her. Not as long as I was alive, and _that_ was inevitable. Then a sickening thought struck my mind, Bella would die someday. I felt as if the breath had been knocked out of me, Bella, my precious Bella, cold, pale, lifeless, a coffin becoming her new home for eternity. A throbbing ache rocked through my chest, and I doubled over my steering wheel. I couldn't let myself think of things like that, I had something to do, I was hunting Victoria, I couldn't waste my time being devoured by misery, who I had become a rebellious slave to. I tried to move but my body wouldn't move. My limbs refused to move from my doubled over position as Alice's words stung from out most recent fight.

"_We have to go back!" She pleaded in her screams of anger._

"_I can't do that Alice." I answered in the flat tone that I had grown accustom to._

"_Then let me go! She was like a sister to me, Damnit! I miss her too." She broke into a tearless sob that broke my un-beating heart, but I had vowed to myself that I wouldn't interfere. It was for Bella's well being. It was all for Bella._

"_No Alice." I said softly, yet demanding. She heard the actual life in my words and got somewhat surprised. Then her stare of grief turned acidic._

"_This was a dreadful idea Edward. Bella is probably worse than you! And look at you! You're tearing at the seams! Your selfishness has been a burden to all of us! I miss my sister, Esme misses her daughter, and I don't care what you say, you're going back to her. I see it in your face, your falling apart Edward. You need her." _Then she was gone, leaving me with these thoughts.

She was right, I couldn't last much longer, I needed Bella, she was part of me. A part of me that could never, and would never be filled any anyone but her. She was my light, my warmth, my rain, my Bella. Without her my world was simply void, a vast wasteland which from nothing could be produced, no rain, no warmth, only cold, only drought. In the midst of my miserable rambles my cell phone buzzed in my pocket.

Rosalie.

I opened the phone to my ear.

"Edward? Oh Edward I am so sorry." I could hear the phony pity in her voice. This made me more curious than angry. Why would Rosalie fake a sad tone?

"Sorry for what?" My tone was flat and lifeless.

"Bella." She hissed, her act clearly gone. I felt my eyes widen, _Please no_.

"Bella," She continued "She killed herself Edward. Alice saw her jump off of the cliff down at La Push, and now Bella's future is blank. She's gone Edward I'm s-" That's all I allowed my self to hear. I snapped the phone shut.

"No! How could Bella do this?! She promised. She told me that she wouldn't do anything reckless! Damnit Bella! Oh Bella…no. No. No. No!" I couldn't call for Carlisle's help now, she was already gone. I began to weep, a pathetic weep, from a void that could produce no tears. The throbbing ache had turned into a ripping pain inside of me, and in the confinement of my silver Volvo, I finally let misery have me. I had been misery's slave for months now, but now I gave in willingly, not wanting to fight against it. I crushed my knees to my chest and rocked back and forth, I could almost feel the chains around my ankles chafe against my cold skin as I rocked. Misery allowed me to grasp my phone and dial Bella's house number. I waited with long agonizing breaths for someone to pick up.

"Swan residence." A deep husky voice answered. Not at all Charlie. I sucked in a breath, trying to find my lips.

"Can I speak to Charlie?" I choked out in a surprisingly calm voice.

"He's not here." Oh God, Where the hell would he be?

"Do you know where he is?" I kept my voice kind.

"He's at the funeral." That's all I needed to hear. I threw my phone out of the window, and stomped on the gas pedal. I heard the tires screech and the loud crash the phone made when it impacted on the unsuspecting trash can. I was speeding toward any secluded area, I could hear my master calling me and I was surely going. Visions of her smiling face flashed through my memory. All I could think of was Bella's dead body. Cold and lifeless, her cheeks never to blush again, her heart to never beat faster when I touch her face, her body never to heat up when I kiss her, my lips never to touch her warm lips again. Misery controlled me now and I was oh so willing to obey, I deserved all the pain that I was would sure to come to me. I knew I would beg for any other torture if she could just breathe again, if she could just breathe again, if she could just be in my arms again. I would rather Jane's mind torture than the pain I was sure to endure when I reached this ominous destination. My mind had hit a shady epiphany.

_Jane._

Of course. The Volturi, why didn't I think of this before? My first plan was to be with Bella until old age consumed her and she passed away. What was I going to do then? Ask the Volturi for death, and if that didn't work…

Upset them.

"Well I wasn't going to live without you," I chuckled humorlessly. "It's not a 'moot point' anymore Bella, I'm off." I said to an unseen love, and with that I made a swift U-turn and sped toward the very plane that would decide my fate.


	2. Thank you

_I would love to thank Edward Cullen for allowing me to enter his mind at such a time as this. Edward's mind was so complex and sad at this time that I almost didn't know how to capture him. With a couple of times of re-reading New Moon I think I got it perfectly. Oh... I hope I did T.T_

_Thank you so much for Reading Self conclusion, and if you want more Edward POV click on my name and look at my story Clean Break. It is placed when Edward had to say goodbye to his wonderful Bella, I like it. Well thats it, Happy Reading :DD_

_Autumn Cullen_


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